HER Version….Whether it’s excessive spending, playing video games, hanging out with the boys, snoring when he sleeps, holding a grudge, not tithing, and/or anything else you can think of. You can’t make some change just b/c you are uncomfortable.
Much like our God, my husband is not one to argue and/or force his will on anyone (including me). Having grown up in an environment where confronting the issue head on was expected, I was often frustrated when Vince just let things go and/ or acted like everything was fine.
After much time I realized that no matter what I said and/ or did I couldn’t change him or force him to do anything, much like my relationship with God. At some point I realized that the only person that I could control is me. If you want to see something different in your marriage, start by changing what you can control.
HIS Version….So the question was presented to us, “What didn’t you know about your spouse after saying ‘I Do’”? Admittedly, that is a question that gave me much pause for several reasons. Primarily, my wife is brutally honest and holds nothing back so I am confident that I entered our marriage with her full disclosure and knew what I signed up for.
But I challenged myself to sort of assess my wife over the past 11 years of our marriage to identify the things I didn’t know back in 2003 and then ask myself, “Has she changed?” The answer to that is a resounding yes! My wife has habits and behaviors that I was unaware of back in 2003 and had I known then what I know now, I still would have said “I DO”. The more important question is whether those habits and behaviors are a result of our marital experiences over time. To some degree, I would argue yes. As I’ve labored over this blog topic, I realized that the marriage institution is forever evolving and changing; shaped and determined by both internal and external circumstances and influences. Therefore, we too will change as we endure a broad breadth of emotions brought on by those circumstances and influences.
I can bear witness that my wife is not the same person I married back in 2003 and I don’t expect her to be. Admittedly, there are some mannerisms and behaviors about her that I may not particularly care for but they don’t compromise the core of who she is. They are not deal breakers. On the contrary, there are some things I’ve discovered about her which affirm that she’s everything I need in a wife.
Adopted as “Our Version”….I can sum this up by echoing a point that a good friend of mine posed years ago. He told me, “Your marriage will change. The question is can you and your wife change with it”? I would urge you to remember, “For better or for worse”